Mom's Seafood Casserole

Mom's Seafood Casserole over white rice

My mother, Diane, spent a lot of time in the kitchen when I was a kid.  She had five kids and a husband who ate every meal as if he believed it to be his very last, taking seconds and thirds, and then eating whatever we kids had left on our plates.  I'm told he ate with the same "don't get your hands too close to his mouth" gusto in childhood, and luckily for him, he had apparently retained his childhood metabolism.  A normal person, consuming the same number of calories he did every day, would have needed a crane, a motivational speaker, and Crisco on the doorjambs in order to leave the house in the mornings.  Sadly, I did not inherit his metabolism.  Luckily, I didn't inherit his seemingly unquenchable hunger, either.  But I do looooove good food, mostly the buttery, creamy, cheesy, carb-laden, bad-for-me kind, so I keep that can of Crisco on standby.

So, anyway, my mom did a lot of cooking.  I'd like to wax poetic and hyperbolic about my mother's skill in the kitchen...largely because she deserves all the poetry and hyperbole I can muster.  I'd like to say she was Julia Child's younger, prettier rival for Best Chef of All Time.  I'd like to say that every dish she ever served made you thank the deity of your choice for being born with tastebuds.  I'd like to say that what she could do to a rump roast would make a grown man cry, and leave lesser moms wringing their hands with feelings of shame and inadequacy.  I'd really like to, but not to put too fine a point on it, my mom's cooking was generally just ok.  Yeah, I said it.

To be fair, I seem to be alone in my opinion.  My siblings and father remember it differently, but I recall a lot of baked chicken with salt and pepper as the only embellishment, a lot of instant mashed potatoes, and a lot of frozen veggies that had never even come within spitting distance of a can of cream of mushroom soup, much less a Hollandaise sauce.  In fairness to my mother, I should point out that back in the day, when she was regularly slaving over a hot stove for a bunch of ungrateful yahoos (before she hung up her apron for good, which was shortly after dad walked out), Pinterest hadn't been invented yet.  Pinterest can make even the most (whatever the culinary equivalent for "tone deaf" is) among us want to be a better, more adventurous person in the kitchen.  It can make the most cooking-averse, grease fire-prone, poison control on speed dial-havingest, dyed-in-the-wool, walking kitchen disaster want to pull all the books, spare tools, and back issues of Martha Stewart Living out of her unused oven, and figure out where the broil setting is, regardless of the inevitably hideous outcome.  I know this because I AM that person, and despite all the 2nd degree burns, blackened ceilings, and hastily Googled "Can you die from eating the 'freshness' packet that comes in the refrigerated pasta packages and looks just like those silica packets that fall out of new shoe boxes?"-type questions, I still want to give that Pin for Buffalo Chicken Cupcakes a try.  I think Mom would have been just as "Pinspired", but likely would have incurred far fewer threats of legal action in the process. Certainly, she would have met fewer emergency personnel.  But I digress.

My point, and I do have one, is that for the most part, where the majority of my mother's cooking was concerned, I could take it or leave it.  Except for the special stuff.

During the "dad in residence" years, and... if we asked really nicely... during the "post-dad" years, Mom would make one of her special dishes.  By "special", I mean favorite, and by "favorite", I mean the stuff she really hit out of the park.  I mean the dishes that NEVER failed to satisfy and cause envy in our friends' hearts.  These are the dishes we still talk about with dreamy looks on our faces, the recipes we'll be passing on to our children.  Based solely on these, I really can say my mom was a phenomenal cook.

Probably my all-time favorite of these is Mom's Seafood Casserole, and I am happy to share it here.  I would like to point out that the pics are of my own fearless attempt at this recipe, just last week, and I was only partially supervised by my little sister, Erica, and I only burned it a little (damned sneaky bastards, those broilers).  Also, everyone is fine, despite the initial nausea, which we ultimately decided was due to a combination of sun-poisoning from the lake visit and too much wine.  No, really.  Leftovers the next day were delicious, and no nausea at all.  I swear.  :-)

Mom's Seafood Casserole

Ingredients:

1 pound raw medium to large shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 pound raw bay scallops (or whichever those little ones are called)

1 pound fake crab chunks

1 pint heavy whipping cream

1 cup milk, 2% or whole

1 half of a large yellow onion, diced

2 cloves of garlic, minced

1 cup bread crumbs (depending on how thick you want it)

salt and pepper to taste

butter

a generous splash of dry cooking sherry (white wine works fine too)

rice ( 1/2 cup to 1 cup, cooked, per serving of casserole)


Ok, here we go:

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

Use oil or butter to grease up a 13x9 baking pan.  I used glass, but Mom always used one of those Corning Ware oval baking dishes with the glass tops (topless in the oven, though).

In a big mixing bowl, combine the shrimp, scallops, and "crab" with the cream and milk, mixing pretty thoroughly.  Don't worry if the "crab" starts to unravel a bit.  Fake crab does that.  Add in the breadcrumbs til you think it's as thick as you want it.  Granted, it's hard to say til you make it that first time and see for yourself, but generally I use between 1 and 2 cups.  You want the finished casserole to ladle over the rice and soak in a bit.  You aren't trying for cornbread-type baked squares.  Though, I have accidentally done that, and it tasted good, too.

Set that aside, and use about a tablespoon of butter (or however much you prefer) to saute the diced onions in your frying pan.  When they start getting translucent, throw in the minced garlic and saute til no darker than a hint of golden.  You don't want brown garlic, apparently.  (The fresh garlic thing is Erica's idea...Mom always just used garlic powder with the salt and pepper...you can too, if you like.)

Before the garlic goes brown, pour a generous splash of the dry cooking sherry (I used white wine) into the pan and scrape it around the sides and bottom, mixing it in with the onions and garlic, and let it cook down a bit. This does two things.  It cleans the scorchy stuff from the pan, and it adds extra flavor.  Erica tells me this is called "deglazing".  Pretty nifty!  Beats the hell out of soaking my frying pan for two days, and who doesn't like extra flavor?

Add the onions and garlic to the bowl of seafood mixture, mix it in, and then taste it.  Now start adding salt and pepper (and garlic powder if you didn't go the "fresh garlic" route) until you get it where you want it.  Pour into the pan and bake at 350 degrees for about an hour, or until it's golden and bubbly.  I turned on the broiler for a couple of minutes at the end, but be careful with that...

Once you pop that into the oven, start boiling your rice.  Brown rice takes about 45 minutes.  My mom would sometimes use egg noodles, and that was good, too, but I prefer rice.

When the casserole is done, let it cool for a bit and solidify a little.  Ladle it over individual servings of rice.  I like to eat it with garlic bread.  Have I mentioned my love of carbs?

This yields about 8 servings.  I have no idea what the calorie count is, but I was a pound and a half heavier the next day.  Just sayin'....

Happy Birthday, Mom...

Best. Mom. Ever.

Diane Lee Pxxxx Rxxxxxx Dxxxxxxxx, 66, passed over on Wednesday, March 13, 2013…much sooner, certainly, than any of us hoped for or expected.  She had a huge and courageous heart, but in the end, it failed her.

Diane is survived by her loving and devoted husband, Wayne Dxxxxxxxx; her siblings, Linda & Gene Sxxxxx, Deborah Pxxxx, Dick Pxxxx; her ex-husband, Robert W. Rxxxxxx; her children, M. Morgan, Kelly Rxxxxxx, Kevin Rxxxxxx, Corey & Renee Kxxxx, and Erica & Devon Txxxxxx; her grandchildren, Cameron Rxxxxxx, Brittany Rxxxxxx, Kaitlyn Rxxxxxx, and Riley Kxxxx; her stepchildren, Brent Dxxxxxxxx, Mandy Dxxxxxxxx and their families; her former daughters in law, Lisa Jxxxxxx, and Michelle Rxxxxxx;  her “adopted” children, Chad Jxxxxxxx, Charlie Jxxxxxxx, Terry Hxxxxxxxxxx, Frank Nxxxxx, Tommy Nxxxxx, MaryAnn Vxxxxxxx, Susie Dxxxxx, Cheryl Mxxxx, Maddy Txxxxxxx, Jason Bxxxxxxx, Bridget Jxxxx, and countless more; and her dogs, Bella and Rusty.

Diane was born in Syracuse, New York, in 1946, to Alice & Albert Pxxxx, thanks to a celebration of Albert’s safe return from his service during World War 2.  She lived in the same house on Richfield Avenue throughout her childhood, and spent summers at a relative’s fishing camp nearby, cementing her lifelong love of the water and her equally lifelong dislike of cleaning fish.  She graduated from Onondaga High School, determined to never take another test ever again.  She had a few jobs, but especially loved her time teaching dance at Arthur Murray. She loved to sing and dance, and was talented enough at both to appear on a local TV show.  She was nice enough to pass those talents to some of her children, for which they are grateful. 

She met her first husband on a blind date that culminated in her accompanying him to a McDonald’s in a cocktail dress.  He had told her he was taking her to a fancy restaurant called The Golden Arches.  Diane’s characteristic ability to appreciate the humor in a less than optimal situation led to that first marriage and the births of her children, for which they are really, really grateful.

Diane was instrumental in helping her first husband build their business, performing many jobs, tirelessly, while carrying their small and energetic children around with her from task to task…all while managing to clean the house and have dinner on the table by 7pm every night.  She was an amazing young woman, and she made it work.  And all while never losing her sense of humor. 

By the mid-80’s, Diane’s fifth child had arrived, and her first husband had left.  A lesser person, after enduring 20+ years of marriage to a dynamic, but “challenging” personality, only to be suddenly left with five children, no formal education, no formal job history, and soon after, no financial assistance, might have packed a bag and run away.  To her credit, and her children’s utter surprise, she stuck around, dug her heels in, and made it work, sense of humor intact.  While even the sanest person might have considered selling all five kids to the highest bidder, especially during the horrific teenage years for which those same children were almost assured of grievous karmic retribution in the form of their very own teenagers, Diane chose to demonstrate strength and fortitude in the face of an uncertain future.  She didn’t consciously set out to do so, but she taught her children, by example, an invaluable skill:  How to suck it up and deal. 

   

In addition to the succession of jobs she took, beginning with her hostess duties at Peter Dinkel’s Restaurant on Silver Springs Boulevard, she also started, with friend and partner Kathy Dxxxxx, a party planning and entertainment business called Simply Unforgetable.  Years of sweat equity in Kathy’s garage eventually led to the opening of their store on Maricamp Road and 36^th in Ocala.  While still working 40 hour weeks at her day job, Diane sold party supplies out of their storefront, designed and assembled the décor for local proms, weddings, and other occasions, and handled their staff of children’s party entertainers and bachelor/bachelorette party exotic dancers, many times even filling in, herself, as a clown or everybody’s favorite purple dinosaur.  She made a mean balloon poodle.  Eventually, stretched to the breaking point, Diane had to make a tough decision, and Simply Unforgetable went on without her.

In the years that followed, she still maintained her sense of humor, though it didn’t always come as easily as before.  One of the bright spots was meeting and marrying Wayne Dxxxxxxxx, who was kind and loving and supported her when she needed it most.  Wayne got her back to the water and fishing, something she hadn’t had time to enjoy for many years.  They built a nice life for themselves on a tranquil piece of property not too far from Cedar Key.  Her children will always adore him for the way he loved her.

Diane also enjoyed seeing her children grow into happy and reasonably well-adjusted adults, and having graduations, businesses, weddings, and children of their own. Quite possibly her biggest thrill during this time must have been the near constant succession of heartfelt apologies from her children for having been a rowdy lot of insufferable bastards as teenagers, now that they were getting it back in spades from their own kids.  Upon hearing each new story, she always laughed and responded with her standard line, “Well, I could’ve told you that.”

Diane was a great and patient mother.  Cookies were baked, costumes were made, battles with school administrators were won.  She always made sure there were books.  Lots of books.  She deserved a medal for surviving five teenagers, all of their friends who seemed to live at the big house in Sparr, and some who actually did move in when their own home situations were bad.  She never turned anyone away, regardless of how tight the budget was. She knew how to lay down the law, but everyone always knew there would be room for negotiation if they could make her laugh.  She encouraged her children in every endeavor, always saying “yes” more than she said “no”, convinced it was better to let them learn from their own mistakes.  No matter how unlikely or insane the idea, like a sudden and short-lived whim to become an actress after a mediocre turn in a school play, she never told them they were delusional.  She just nodded with interest, and maybe a slight wince, and said, “Great!”.

She loved movies, particularly the movies of Mel Brooks, but anything funny would do.  She loved to laugh.  Her favorite TV shows were  M.A.S.H.  and Cheers.   She loved music.  Music was always playing in the house and car, and her children grew up with a great appreciation for it.  She loved to throw the whole family into the car and go to St. Augustine for the weekend.  She would always drive fast over the dips in the dirt road so her kids could bounce high in their seats.  She always made chicken noodle soup and peanut butter sandwiches when they were sick.  She made the best seafood casserole in the world.  And the best lasagna.

Diane didn’t cure cancer or facilitate peace in the Middle East, but she was loved…deeply loved…by more people than she probably realized.  Because who among us doesn’t make the tragic mistake of thinking they’ll have more time to let people know how important they were to them? 

She will be sorely missed, and on Saturday, March 23^rd, at 4pm, at the home of Renee & Corey Kxxxx, she will be given a proper loud, laughter and story-filled sendoff in the form of a very Irish wake. 

Contact any of the Rxxxxxx clan via phone or Facebook, for details and directions.